His Dirty Little Secret
by GravityNeko
Summary: Han finds out Luke's dirty little secret. Rated M.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Originally this was supposed to be one long post..but I think it works better in parts….So I hope you enjoy this little sorid gem…I had a lot of fun writing it.**

**.**

"Ow, Mara, that hurt!" Luke shouted from inside the bedroom.

"Oh, don't be such a big baby. It wasn't that hot." His wife reprimanded.

"Then why is it called "hot wax"?"

Mara sighed. "It wasn't that bad."

"You could have psychically scarred me for life."

"I didn't get it that close."

"So, what do you consider "close" in proximity to my penis."

"Ah-hah, so you can say that. Anyway, your li-."

She received a glare from her husband; he wasn't an arrogant man, but didn't like his manhood being downplayed. And calling it a "thing" was just as worse.

"I didn't hurt it and you won't become psychically damaged." She glared back.

"I think I should know what hurt…it was _my _skin."

"The wax didn't get anywhere near your manhood, so cork it!" Mara then stormed out of the room. She exited their bedroom, the unlit red candle in one hand dripping with the hardened wax, a black teddy on, swathed by a green slik robe. "Such a big baby, I swe-."

She stopped dead in her tracks.

"I am not a baby." Luke hollered following her out, clutching a blanket around his waist—and bumped into her as she came to a sudden stop. "Mara, what the-"

A throat cleared. "Did we…come at a bad time?" Han Solo asked, trying to hide a smirk.

Leia turned three different shades of red before walking out of the apartment, shaking her head, muttering about how she hadn't seen anything.

Luke looked aside, disgruntled, but equally embarrassed.

Han continued to grin. "So, Kid, didn't know you were into stuff like that."

Mara scowled. "If you keep making that face, Solo, it'll freezing that way." She snapped. Then, looking to Luke, she gave an decidedly annoyed look, and disappeared back into their room with the door shutting behind her.

Luke turned to retreat but found it locked. He swore. So, here he stood with nothing but a cover to shield his naked body. He sighed and looked back up to face his friend.

"Wax huh?" Han said when Luke didn't answer him the first time. "Kinky."

"I'm not having this conversation with you, Han."

"Hey, Luke, it's okay…Leia and I, we..."

"Han…don't. I really don't want to hear what you and my sister do, all right." Luke raised a hand. "I'm her brother, remember?"

"Fair enough." Han sauntered over and took a seat on the couch. "But really, nothin' to be ashamed of…I mean I hear it's very healthy to experiment." He paused. "And if wax is yours and Mara's thing, I'm not going to judge you."

"It's not like that." He protested.

Luke walked over to the kitchen and one-handedly started fixing himself caf.

"I'm going out." Mara announced, breezing through the living room. She stopped to glare at her brother-in-law. "Still here?" She looked around. "Where's that bantha-brained husband of mine?"

"Kitchen."

"Luke, I'm going to head out…I need to go for run. Don't make a mess in there like last time."

And with that, she was gone.

Han turned around and leaned over the couch. "Kid?"

Nothing.

"She's gone. You can speak freely now. I promise you won't get any appendages lopped off."

More silence.

"Oh, c'mon, how bad can it be? It's not like Mara has a bondage fetish, right?"

The sound of ceramic shattering against the floor came from inside the kitchen.

Han let out a whistle.

Luke cursed from inside the kitchen.

"Need help?"

He walked back into the livingarea. "No, and keep it down."

"She's gone."

"Yes, but I still have neighbors."

"Should have thought of that before you started playing with hot wax."

"That wasn't _my _idea."

Han raised a brow. "So, it was Mara's idea."

"Not talking about it" He walked back into the bedroom.

"Aww, c'mon." Han followed him and leaned against the wall outside the bedroom.

Silence.

Han pursed his lips, not wanting to give up. "So when did she start the bondage thing?"

"I'm said I'm not talking about it, Han."

"No, you said you weren't going to talk about the wax."

Luke exited the room a few seconds later, fully clothed now. "Not talking about, either." He raised a finger. "And don't you breathe a word to this to anyone. Not Lando, not Corran, and definitely NOT the Rogues or Wraiths."

Han folded his arms over his chest.

"Fine, have it your way, Kid. I won't tell a soul."

"I mean it, Han."

"Hey, it's me."

"That's what I'm afraid of..."Luke muttered then disappeared back into the kitchen.

**.**

**A/N: So, the big question is….can Solo keep his word…or will be let the nexu out of the bag….tune it, foks.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: And we're back ladies and gents...Let's see how Solo fared, shall we?" **

**.**

Raucous laughter rang out through the cantina as a group of men gathered around a table, swilling ale and telling bawdy stories.

"Face it, Solo, you're whipped." Hobbie chimed in a slammed his tankard down. "Get married, get whipped. Plain and simple."

"Klivian, you're just jealous because I have someone to go home to ever night, and you go home to…well, no one."

Hobbie made a face.

Han took a shot of whiskey. "Besides, I'm not the one whose literally whipped…or near thereof...that would be Luke's department."

Several brows went up at their table.

"Literally whipped?" Wes echoed.

"Or near thereof?" Lando mimicked.

Realizing his blunder, Han took another swill of his drink. "Kriff!" He set the glass back down. "Forget I said anything."

"Nuh-uh, Solo." Corran Horn leaned in. "You're not getting off that easily. Spill."

"Nothin' doin'. I promised I wouldn't."

"But…" Wedge piped in. "You already spilled…so…" He indicated to the bartender for another round of drinks. "You might as well, tell the rest."

Han narrowed his eyes, lips thin.

"Now, you were saying something about being whipped…" Hobbie prodded.

"Or near thereof..." Lando added again.

Corran studied Han, making _hmmming _sounds. He clicked his tongue a few times then said, "Now, let's assume Luke _would_ engage in that type of play, I don't see him actually utilizing anything whiplike…not in his nature…Mara maybe…but…." He paused. "Now, there is that phrase….what was it again, Boys?"

"Near thereof." They supplied.

"Yes, near thereof." He steepled his fingers. "So, if not a whip specifically..something _close to_ a whip...or whip-like play." He looked around the table. "Any guesses?"

The men smirked.

Wes offered, "Maybe, something like…BDSM…without the SM of course, since we're ruling out whips."

Han's lips remained clamped.

Wedge raised a brow. "You're not suggesting bondage, are you?" He looked to Han.

"Luke Skywalker….and bondage." Lando murmured. "Those two things….don't quite go together do they?"

"I believe it." This came from Tycho.

All eyes turned toward him.

He shrugged. "I mean, with Mara…I could believe it."

"He's got a point. Hobbie said agreeably.

"Guys…stop." Han begged. "Please."

Lando sobered. "He's right. We shouldn't be talking about Luke like that. Much less Mara."

The men at the table thought about the woman in question and shuddered.

Wes: "Yeah…"

Corran went back to drinking.

"Hey, Pups, what's going on here?!" Booster Terrik's voice interjected jovially.

"Nothing, Booster." Corran muttered, avoiding his father-in-law.

He frowned and turned to his compatriot. "Now, I don't think that's true. What do you think, Karrde?"

"They're up to something." Talon Karrde agreed.

"Why would we be up to something?" Hobbie inquired.

Booster retorted, "Because you all at a table, laughing, drinking, and looking all conspiratorial, always looks suspicious."

They all remained silent.

"Now, I could have sworn I heard something about Mara...isn't that right, Karrde?"

"I think I heard something like that, yes." Talon looked around the table. "If Mara finds out you're talking about her in any fashion other than respectful, she'll skin you alive. All of you."

"Why only us?" Hobbie said.

"Yeah, Solo's the one who blabbed." Wes added.

Talon and Booster turned toward Han.

Han glared back, not the least bit flustered by the two men.

"If anyone's going to be a deep poodo, it's Luke." He defended childishly.

Booster smirked. "Oh and why is that?"

"He actually told you?" Wedge asked.

"Well…sort of…"

"Sort of?" Talon and Booster echoed.

"I kind of...well…inferred it."

"You inferred." Talon repeated.

"He dropped the mug of caf."

"Is that all?" Booster said, looking exasperated.

"He insisted he didn't want to talk about it!" Han threw his hands in the air. "What ELSE was I suppose to think?!"

"Maybe have the courtesy to not pester him about it…which I'm sure you did. Those kinds of things are sacred, Solo."

"Hey," Han got up. "I'm not to blame…He and Mara were playing with..."

Eyebrows went up again.

"Playing with what?" Wes asked, excitedly.

"No way, I've said enough."

"Oh, now you get a conscience." Hobbie groused. "Just a minute ago you were shooting off your mouth!"

"He's clamming up, because he's smarter than you lot." Booster barked then looked back to Han. Solo looked positively drunk out of his gourd. "And that's saying a lot, seeing how drunk he is. Should have known." He shook his head then waved the waitress. "Don't give him anymore." He instructed her. "He's cut off, officially."

"Hey, I just serve 'em, Mister."

"Yeah, well, they're trouble."

"Oh."

Booster looked back to the group and turned back to the girl disgusted. "In fact, cut them all off. Lest they make more jackasses out of themselves then they already have been."

"Allright." The woman shrugged her shoulders then walked off.

"Spoilsport…" Corran mumbled under his breath.

"What was that, Horn? Now, I'm sure you're not giving me attitude, because I'm positive your drunk ass had something to do with _his _drunk ass. Am I right?"" His father-in-law leaned in, giving Corran a stern look. "Nothing to say? That's what I thought." He bit his lip, "Now, since it seems that I'm the only one.."

A throat cleared.

"Well, since we're the only ones with reason, I'm going to have to talk some sense into you."

"With all due respect, Sir." Lando tried.

"Pipe down, Calrissian, you were in on it too."

Talon grinned.

"Now, I know most of you are half drunk out of your gored so you currently don't have a lick of sense to you." He turned to Wes and Hobbie. "And some of you never had any to begin with…So let me tell you how this looks…Bad. In fact, it's shameful. Downright shameful. You're not greenhorns...you're seasoned veterans. Grown men, who should be acting like grown men. Not behaving like a bunch of space jockies.

"A person's marital life is sacred…it's not to be bandied around like some third rate bawdy joke." He glared at five particular individuals: Lando, Han, Corran, Tycho, and Wedge. "Something five of you should be aware of...since you are married. In fact, one would wonder what your wives would say."

Talon said, "One would."

Corran looked annoyed. "Is that all?" He ran a hand through his hair, staring at Booster through bloodshot eyes.

Booster looked around the table at the similar displayed faces and then made a sound of disgust. "Forget it. I'm done…Let's go get a drink, Karrde." He turned his head over his shoulder. "Don't come crying to us when it all blows up in your faces—which it will."

"Right behind you, Booster." Talon called back-and couldn't help but feel sorry for them. There would be hell to pay when Mara found out.

**.**

**A/N: All right, Solo failed...so can we trust the boys.. .or will they cave...yeah right..**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Here it is, folks! The final part to His Dirty Little Secret.**

**.**

**Cousucanti Autumn Festival**

**.**

Luke stood off to the side, quietly sipping his cider, watching the couple's swirl around the dance floor. His wife was off chatting with Mirax and Leia—her partners in crime—while Corran and few other Rogues shot the breeze. He was strangely alone, by himself. Even now he didn't care for these things, but he knew there was no way he could avoid the Coruscanti Autumn Festival—well to call it a festival was cheapening it, it really was more of a ball.

Feeling a prickle in the Force, he set his drink aside. He reached out searching for the presence's and found a few people shooting weird looks his way. He supposed it was odd for a great galactic hero to be standing off by himself but he preferred it this way. He shook it off and reached for his cider again when an arm looped over his shoulders. "Hey, Ol Buddy." Han breathed into his ear.

Luke turned to face the reformed smuggler. "Enjoying yourself?" He asked a sparkle in his eye.

"Yep. Sure am." He raised a glass of Whiskey and took a drink. "Now, what pray tell is Luke Skywalker doing standing over here by himself."

"Trying to stay out of trouble."

"What trouble? I don't see any trouble."

"You mean you don't see that group over there." He pointed to the cluster of Rogues.

"Luke, that's horrible."

"I'm sorry, Han, it's the truth. When they get liquor in them, they act stupid. I'm trying to avoid it. Mara will have my hide."

Han shook his glass at his friend. "See this is why everyone thinks you're a stick in the mud."

"Because I exercise common sense?" He smiled.

"Naw, that ain't it. You know what I think?"

"What?"

"I think you're afraid of your wife."

Luke raised an eyebrow.

"I'm serious!"

"Han, you're imagining things." He looked at his friend's hand. "And you've probably had too much to drink, which doesn't help your case."

He leaned over. "If I'm imaging things, then what was that ordeal with you and Mara?"

"Which one?"

Han scoffed. "Don't play stupid, Kid. You know _exactly _the one I'm talking about."

Luke sighed. "I really wish you'd let that drop."

"I did. For two weeks." He took a drink. "Now, what's up with that?"

Luke remained silent.

"Look, as I told you before…you and Mara like that sort of thing, I'm not going to judge."

"Han!" Luke hissed. "Keep your voice down."

"It is down...Now don't interrupt, that's rude. But!" He held up a finger. "I still stand by my assertion that you're afraid of your wife."

"I am not afraid of Mara."

"Yeah, and I'm not afraid of your sister." He gave a fake laugh. "You're thinking is, if you go over there…something bad might happen and Mara will chew you out because of it."

Luke looked to Han sharply. "Why should something bad happen!?" He asked suspiciously. Luke looked over to Rogues, who were now shooting him conspiratorial glances and chuckling.

Han shrugged.

"Han…Please tell me you didn't say anything.

"About what?"

"You know, about what."

"Ah, that. No, haven't told a soul."

Luke stared him down.

"I promise."

"Why is that not comforting?"

"You know, you could have a little more trust in me." His eye caught something. "Ah, the wives are looking over here." Han cautioned. Luke turned in the direction to see Leia and Mara eying them with interested glances. "Act natural."

"I am." Luke picked up his cider once more and took a dink. "You're the one acting suspicious."

The two women made their way over, after excusing themselves. Luke sipped his cider and gave his wife an illuminating smile. She frowned and he let out a sigh. Han was doing a similar job of putting Leia at ease, but that wasn't working either.

When the women finally approached them, Han spoke first, "Hey, girls...What's going on?"

"Girls?" Mara echoed. She turned to her sister-in-law. "Leia, I think you're husband has already had a little bit too much to drink."

She eyed her husband's glass. "I think so."

"Now, what are you _boys_ up to?" Mara asked, emphasizing the word "boys" just for effect.

Luke shrugged his shoulders. "I'm just enjoying my cider."

Mara's look said she didn't believe him a bit. "No. I don't think that's it. You and Solo were too close to be just "enjoying cider". I thought I saw some whispering over here."

Leia looked at Han, examining her husband's face. It was slightly red. "Han?"

"Yes, Princess."

"Why were you whispering?" She folded her arms over her chest.

"Oh, you know," He gestured with his drink. "Just guy talk."

"Guy talk." She repeated. "Sounds suspicious to me. What do you think, Mara?"

"Definitely suspicious."

Luke sighed. "Mara, my love, I swear I'm not doing anything that would constitute as suspicious."

She gave him a menacing look.

"Hey, Boss!" Wedge hollered suddenly. "I've got to ask you something!"

"Oh, no." Luke mumbled.

Hobbie protested, "I brought it up."

"No, I did, Bantha-breath." Wes corrected childishly.

"Doesn't matter who brought it up?" Corran murmured from a place near Mirax. His wife was smiling as if she was in on some private joke.

Uh-oh. He definitely didn't like the looks of this.

"I have a bad feeling about this…" He murmured, secretly looking for an escape route. He then cast a sharp glance at Han, who gave him an innocent smile.

Leia and Mara exchanged glances.

"Han? What in the world is going on?"

"Nothing, Sweetheart."

"Han Solo..." Leia's voice turned menacing.

"Skywalker, spill it!"

"Hey, Luke!" Wes practically shouted. "Is it –is it true that you and Mara like to play with hot wax?!"

Luke eyes widened and he shot Han an accusatory look.

Mara's face turned red. It was obvious that the drunken men had not seen the red-head.

"Mara, I can explain."

Hobbie: "Oh, Luke, inquiring minds want to know. Who likes to be bound, you or Mara?"

"I bet it's like a dominatrix thing…." Wes responded.

Han then cast his friend an apologetic glance.

"Han, you promised!" Luke hissed again.

"It slipped."

"Slipped?" This came from Mara. She turned to her husband. "Skywalker…what have you been letting slip?"

Luke stared into green eyes that were full of fire.

"What slipped, Skywalker?"

"Mara…." Han tried.

"Stow it, Solo!" She snapped. "I'll have it out with you later, but first, Farmboy has some explaining to do." Mara turned back to the group of drunken men. "And I will definitely be coming after you all later!'

The men blanched as if they had just noticed Mara's presence. Even Corran Horn who had previously been smiling, dropped his grin. It was obvious that they no longer considered humor at Luke's expense funny anymore: not with an ex-assassin shooting laser-eyes at them.

"Heh, well, we better go." Hobbie coughed. "Right, Wes?"

"Right behind you, Hobbie!"

"Cowards…" Mara muttered then turned back to face Luke. "We need to have a serious talk about you learning when to keep quiet. I can't believe you went and blabbed to Solo."

"Mara, it slipped. I'm sorry."

"Oh, you will be once we get home."

**.**

**.**

Talon and Booster stood back, far away from the commotion but close enough to witness what was going on.

"I knew those morons couldn't keep their yaps shut." Booster muttered. "What's this generation coming to, Karrde?"

"Your guess is as good as mine."

**.**

**A/N: THE END! Hope that turned out all right….It didn't turn out EXACTLY like I planned, but I think it's still decent. **


End file.
